Reflection time is coming to town..

Why is is that everybody thinks that christmas time is the time for the big reflection - where the big questions are to be answered, questions like "what have i achieved this year?" or "what do i want to achieve next year?".. i mean why is it that these questions only comes once a year? i am in the (un)lucky situation that i have these questions on a weekly basis..i do a lot of conferences, i did a lot of conferences in the past as well, and what of the things that i have learned is to ask these types of questions all the time - i use it for personal development..i mean without this, nothing will happen, so forget what you think you know, forget what you have heard, forget who you are now and start to focus on who you want to be or what you want to become - focus on what you want to know..for me this includes setting monthly / sometimes weekly goals, and follow up on these goals.. in the end is there anything better than to develop yourself, is there anything better than when your family / friends / colleagues comes up to you, to tell you that you have changed into something better, something more!! for me this is the best felling!! but it all starts before that, forgetting about your previous situation - to become something more can only - will only happen once you really knows who you are, only after this can you become something more, something better..

so how do i do it? well it is pretty smple, i have always been facinated with knowledge, and learning new things / or getting to know new people, for me this is the ultimate goal in my life, being rich and famous is good and everything, but by the end of the day not really for me! for me the best way of developing is through mentorship, so i have a mentor(s) at work, these are as well by many people called go-to-colleagues, i have a mentor for my personal life, and i have a mentor for my coaching and presentation skills.. personally i started working with mentors when i was 18 yrs. old and ever since then i have been changing mentors, developing, changing mentors, learning, developing and changing mentors, i must have had the first 15 mentors till today! i have been a lucky person because all of these mentors that i have had, have all give something that i didnt know, so answers to my questions, on new ways of thinking, or totally new knowledge...this has allowed me to become in my own eyes a more complex person! (okay, i am not saying that i am god, or the best person, but i can honestly say that without a mentor my life would have been looking alot different!!)... So the first thing you should keep in mind when working with a mentor is : getting along and go along...! so what does this mean, well i have been in the situation many times that i have been eager to learn, sometimes to eager that i have not listen to my mentor, arguing with my mentor, or simply fighthing with my mentor, looking back on it - i know that it was a mistake... this is the "get along" phase, working with a mentor takes a lot of respect from your side, because you need to "shut up and listen" regardless of you agreeing or not, nobody wants a mentee that is loud mouth-arrogant and cant listen, so listen and learn, it takes time to learn to listen, alot of time, once you can listen, then you can learn, and now you are getting along... going along pretty much means that you have shown your abilities to listen even when something negative is being said about you (negative in my eyes is a matter of definetion - because what does it mean, many people take negative feedback extremely bad - i dont care as long as it is objective, subjective feedback doesnt help me what soever - sentences like "you are stupide!" - what can i use it for, argue for why you think i am stupide and i will consider it).. so the getting along phase for me is where your mentor takes you into his / her life, shows you all the ups and downs, explains you the differences between left and rigth, shares his or her knowledge / experience with you..once again a mentor doesnt what to hear that you think it could be done in a better way, or you think that it is stupide this way, once you are able to do it yourself then you can choose for yourself - till then listen, learn and be quiet! what of however happens is that the mentee thinks that it is all going to slow, this can go faster, well it can, but what i always say - back to the basics, you need to understand and know the basic stuff to understand and work with the complex stuff...one without the other cant exist...

the cool thing in my eyes about mentors is that they will go till the end of the world for you - if you show them respect, believe and the want / desire to learn from them, they will open up alot of closed doors for you, because when you start in a new company, community, etc. your mentor will be the gatemaster...and the fantastic thing about it is - they only want you to remember then in the future when you are becoming famous and rich...they will not ask for money, they only want to be remembered...this is a price that i am willing and able to pay, are you???

so for me life without a mentor is like life without guidance, you may think that you can learn everything on your own, only to wake up and realizing that for the last 2 yrs you have been trying to change into something better, but due to lack of guidance you acutally turned into something worse...that is pretty stupide, so dont think you know everything, find a mentor, learn from him or her, develop, move on to a new mentor, and repeat the process, this will for sure help you be more than you have ever been before...see the wonderfull thing about mentorship is that now - i am 29 yrs old, and i get to stand in front of people taking to them about this issue, now that is cool, i get the chance to tell people how their life can become better by working with a mentor..isnt life super....i have a conference coming in 2 weeks time, for a bounch of young people where i will be talking about the exact topic - "mentorship and the reason for it.." so in two weeks time i will update you a bit more on this topic okay!

till then - life is a learning process, so if you dont like to study - you are totally lost! so open the books and get cracking....